At last, things are falling into place (pt. 1 of 2)

This is part 1, my internet life. Part 2 will follow after February.

I've been interacting with the internet for most of my life. From Thomas the Tank Engine when I was 5 to Neopets to my final destination, The Backloggery.

Whenever I used look back upon my time on the internet, it's been riddled with good times and bad times. However, the bad times seem to stick. Recently however, the bad times have been disappearing and I've been able to move on from these negative memories.

As of last week, all of these things would come up whenever I went to www.backloggery.com.
Why? Well to find an answer to that, I dove deeper into my past... Almost one year ago, I destroyed a really good relationship with someone on The BL. I put the blame all on me, because, who else was there to blame? I felt terrible. I slowly felt that all I could do was hurt. I decided later on that I would not let anyone get as close as they did, for their own safety. ...That is still in effect too- I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.
So this past year has been a difficult one. Though many people enjoy free time and wish they could have a lifetime of it- Don't wish for it. I've had it, and it's been the worst year of my life. 2010 is definitely worth forgetting for me. With this wall I have erected around myself, I no longer go outside and I don't see anyone who I thought I was friends with. It's terrible. Seeing all of your friends and family moving on with their lives... and you sitting there dwelling and spiraling downwards.
However, even though things still look bleak, I still hold on to a slim piece of hope that I can move on.
Recently, things have been taking a turn for the better believe it or not.
I got closure. It took a full year, but I got closure. No more dwelling on what I did. The one thing that is my punishment as I see it, is that we'll never be friends again. With my head hung low, I accepted this. I need to remember this as well.
Moral of the story is: Learn from your mistakes. Don't make them twice. 
As far as things falling into place, I may be going off of all of my medication starting on Feb. 1st when I meet with my doctors to discuss what needs to happen. Later on I will update all of you on what my status is.


I miss you, PS.